That’s what everybody wants, right? More enjoyment from being a parent and more quality time with their kids? Unfortunately, most of us parents feel like life is just a never-ending to-do list.

What parent hasn’t felt this way? You’re not alone. But life isn’t suddenly going to get any easier, or less busy, but you can still make the most out of your everyday life experiences. You just have to redirect your focus to make that time count.

More on that in a minute, but first a brief introduction.

This blog is the story of our completely crazy-busy life, our family of eight and how we try to improve our parenting and life skills every day.

We don’t have any formal education or training in child behavior or studies. We’re just regular, ordinary people. But we do have six kids and more than 16 years of hands-on parenting experience to draw from.

During that time we’ve learned a thing or two, but we don’t claim to be experts and we’re far from perfect.

We make mistakes every day but we’re always trying to become better parents because a parent’s education and training never really ends.

Some days are good and some days…not so much. But parenting is a journey, not a destination. More about us here.

The Busy Life

So what about that never-ending to-do list? Life is supposed to be so much more, right?

Our six wonderful kids range from ages 16 to four. We don’t have much downtime and with so many activities and events, like school, sports, church, work, piano and so much more, life is generally crazy.

Often times it feels like Carol and I spend the majority of any given day in our cars transporting the kids to and from all their activities; because many days that’s exactly what we do. But we’re their parents and that’s part of the job description, right? We knew what we were signing up for.

You don’t have six kids by accident; unless you’re REALLY naïve or you overdose on your fertility meds.

Anyways, the point is too often life becomes all about getting things done.

Take this kid to piano lessons, pick this kid up from baseball, and then get this kid to a student leadership meeting. Oh, while you’re at it, pick those two up from school and then it’s time to get another one to baseball practice and pick up the other one from piano lessons.

Wait, what? His lesson is done already? What about dinner? What are we having tonight, and who will be eating at what time?

Oh, and BTW, he has to be back to the school at 6:30 to announce the basketball game and then still get his homework done when he gets home. Has anyone seen my keys? Where did I put my phone? I need a nap. You get the point. Life is busy.

Working in the yard

Don’t get me wrong. We wouldn’t have it any other way. Our kids’ lives keep us going nonstop but we’re so blessed to have them. It’s just that we get caught up in the end result and lose sight of the doing.

It’s a trap we fall into. We’re so focused on the finish line we forget to enjoy the journey along the way.

I remember as a kid (I think I was about 10 or so) my dad took my two older brothers and me on a four-day hike in the Three Sisters Wilderness in Southern Oregon. Our trip was long, but well planned out.

We had a certain distance to travel each day and a designated spot we planned to spend each night. The days were long and tedious. I remember being focused on how much longer we had to go during each hike and just wanting to get to the designated pit stop. Mostly so I could do anything but walk.

The funny thing is, to this day, I can’t remember anything about those pit stops at all, other than lying in the tent listening to my dad telling stories as we drifted off to sleep.

What I do remember are those long, tiring days full of walking. But they aren’t bad memories.

I still recall many of the things we saw along the way, the breaks we took to rest and talk, and the time I spent playing with my brothers.

I can still see my dad carrying my backpack in his hand with his pack still on his back because I couldn’t carry mine and walk at the same time anymore.

The point is, I remember the doing more than the destination. That’s what made the trip worth it.

What Matters Most

And that is what this is all about. Life is a journey. We all have somewhere we want to “arrive,” our metaphoric finish line.

Whether it’s a better job, a bigger house, a luxurious retirement, or to the top of a rock wall, we have an innate desire to “get there,” or “get done.”

The sad thing is when we focus too much on the destination we forget to enjoy the journey.

The real satisfaction comes in the doing. So, enjoy everything!

Enjoy the victories, but enjoy the frustrations, the defeats, and the sadness, as well. They are all part of life’s journey.

Enjoy the piles of laundry, the cleaning, the complaining, and the kids talking in their beds at 11:30 because they’re enjoying the moment.

Enjoy the crying baby in the middle of the night, and yes even the poopy diapers (although that’s still hard to imagine).

These are the moments that make up our lives. These are the moments that we will miss when they are gone. These are the things that matter most.

You will never FIND more quality time. You have to MAKE the time you have higher quality.

Photo: courtesy Ginger Snaps Photography

It’s not easy, but try to forget about getting things done. Instead, focus on living in the moment and doing everything you can to enjoy it. And believe me, I’m preaching to myself right now.

Slow down. Take a second to look into your child’s eyes. Enjoy her smile or frown, or his sense of wonder when he discovers something new. Remember their faces in these moments and they will become precious memories.

These are the things that make the journey worth it. So enjoy the doing and forget the finish line!

Check out these helpful Parenting Resources:

The Center for Parenting Education
National At-Home Dad Network
National Parents Organization