Can you imagine your life without a smartphone? No way, never, right? Smartphones are arguably one of the greatest inventions ever. In fact, now that smartphones have been around for a few years most of us couldn’t live without them.
We use them for just about everything: taking pictures, social media, playing games, surfing the web, listening to music, watching TV & movies, texting, and oh yeah, making phone calls. They actually still do that, too. Chances are you’re reading this on a smartphone, right now.
Smartphones are totally amazing and I would hate living without one. They are useful for so many things, but in spite of all that, I don’t think kids should have smartphones. I know, I’m probably in the minority, when it comes to kids and phones.
I’ll admit having constant contact with your kids when they are away is very valuable and that’s the one reason I think kids do NEED them. But other than that, the majority of things kids do on their phones is a waste of time, or even worse, they lead to trouble.
But still, almost every kid, 12-years or older, has one. In fact, many kids, as young as 8-years-old, have phones. I hear about it all the time from my kids. They wonder why they can’t have one. Every time we ask them what they want for their birthday or Christmas, they say: “An iPhone.” I always respond: “Who do you need to call?”
They tell me they would use it for games. That’s a great argument, right? Because I really want them sitting around wasting all their time playing video games.
Our oldest turned 16 earlier this year and we got him a phone when he was 12. He is a great kid. He’s very responsible and doesn’t get into trouble. But we made a big mistake when we got him that phone. He wasn’t ready for the responsibility and he started making poor choices.
Don’t get me wrong. He didn’t go off the deep end or do anything even close to the horrible things that I’ll mention later in this article, but his phone became a big distraction. Over the last four-and-a-half years he has lost the use of his phone a few times, including a couple times for several months, mainly due to declining grades.
No taking pictures, no social media, no playing games. No surfing the web, no listening to music, no watching movies, no texting, and no phone calls, for several months. And guess what, he lived to tell about it.
He didn’t even suffer any withdrawals, but I’ve heard that there is such a thing with cellphones. In fact, he actually said it was kind of a relief not having to worry about everything that was going on with his phone.
Adults are not immune to these issues, either, and people of all ages are addicted to their phones. Even if your cellphone use hasn’t reached addiction levels, numerous people overuse their phones.
In fact, even Jon Ive, the designer of the last several generations of the Apple iPhone, recently told a crowd at the New Yorker TechFest that people ”misuse” their iPhones because they use them too much.
So, we have learned from our mistake and our 14-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son don’t have free access to phones. Our daughter does have a “phone” without a sim card, so she can text us, and vice versa, while she is at school or in other locations with Wi-Fi. But she does not have access to her device without adult supervision any other time.
And guess what? She survives. Our 12-year-old son has the same thing, but he can’t even access the Wi-Fi at his school so he doesn’t take it anymore. We make our kids use their phones where we can see them and they NEVER have their phones in their rooms while they sleep.
So, why so strict? Well, as it turns out, kids do a lot of dumb things with their phones. Even worse, they do a lot of bad things with their phones.
Luckily, our kids have never been in any really bad trouble from their cellphone use, because trouble is out there, just waiting for kids to get tangled up in it. The unfortunate stories are endless.
I watch a lot of those evening news magazine shows, like Dateline and 20/20, and I’ve seen several stories over the years that involve teens getting into serious trouble with their phones.
I know. You can’t really say it’s the phone’s fault, but if they didn’t have constant unsupervised access to them, these kinds of situations would be greatly reduced. That’s my point. Most kids just can’t handle the responsibility and the temptations that come with owning a smartphone.
If their parents don’t have the wherewithal to keep close tabs on them, then sooner or later, kids are likely to find trouble.
You might think, “Not my kid.” But do you really know what’s on your kids’ phones? Do you really know what they do with them? Even if you think you have a great handle on this, it’s very likely they’re already doing things you wouldn’t approve of without you knowing about it.
For example, did you know there are apps whose sole purpose is to hide other apps? Kids hide all kinds of things on their phones, like nude pictures and private conversations, which are geared toward hooking up with complete strangers.
Here are just a few of these apps, but there are several others. They’re all designed to help your kids hide things from you. It’s pretty scary.
Audio Manager
Vaulty
Calculator%
Line
Burn Note
KIK Messenger
Ask.fm.
Omegle
Yik Yak
And below are just a few examples of the terrible things that have happened from kids making poor, unsupervised, choices with their phones:
* Parents warn others about musical.ly app after pedophiles use the app to “groom” underage children.
* Teenage girl dies of electrocution after using a cellphone in the bath.
* Half of All Teenagers Are Addicted to Their Smartphones.
The terrible stories go on and on. Just do some Google searches and you will see. There were several similarities with these kids. Many of them showed no signs of any problems, most never really got into any kind of trouble, and most importantly, their parents didn’t know what they were doing on their phones.
I’m not telling anyone how to parent his or her children. But I’ve had numerous conversations about kids and cellphones with other parents and many of them are surprised when I tell them these kinds of apps exist and they are leading to these kinds of tragedies.
So, I just want parents to really know what’s out there. Unsupervised cellphone use can be very dangerous. After all the things I’ve read on the Internet and seen on TV, it’s my opinion that when it comes to kids, having cellphones does more harm than good, UNLESS they are closely and carefully supervised by adults.
Plus, if you really think about it, your kids will survive without a phone (or at least limited use). After all, almost every one of us over the age of 30 grew up without a smartphone and we all made it this far.
The world can be a scary place, but sometimes the scariest things are going on right at your kids’ fingertips. So stay informed, be proactive and make it your business to know what your kids are doing on their phones. It’s your job as a parent to keep your kids safe and it’s your right to be involved in their life, even if they don’t like it.
Tell us what you think. At what age should kids have their own phone? Should they have unsupervised access to their smartphones? Comment below to share your opinion.
You might also like these additional resources:
The 12 Apps That Every Parent Of A Teen Should Know About
Top 7 Secret Messaging Apps Teens That Parents Should Know
Hidden Apps and How to Find Them On Your Child’s Phone
These 3 apps can help you monitor your teens’ activities online
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